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Yes, appearance does matter
By Meg | May 25, 2007
Today I went and bought another stick of concealer
As I was telling my friend, I’ve noticed that when I go out without makeup that people tend to ask me, “Are you o.k.?” It’s very thoughtful of them, but it can get a little annoying after about the third person, so even when I’m tired I try to dress up a bit and put on a little makeup (fortunately dresses
I do the same when I have a doctor appointment. I used to go to doctor appointments in a t-shirt and gym shorts. It definitely makes a difference. It’s tricky, though, because I’ve learned that if I wear the t-shirt and gym shorts that doctors seem to assume I’m depressed, whereas if I dress up they tend to assume I’m feeling better than I am. Of course, I could just go in a nice shirt and jeans, but then that’s less comfortable.
The point is, though, that what you wear does affect how people see you - even people who already know you well. It’s not just about making the right first impression, it’s about messages you send everyday. However, many people still don’t seem to understand the importance of taking care of their appearance. I’m not talking about spending big bucks to wear the latest trends or even about trying to look drop-dead gorgeous. It’s not about fashion or beauty, per se. It’s more about grooming, bearing, and buying clothes that fit and flatter your body - as well as wearing clothes that are appropriate for the situation.
However, to some people, just about any attention to appearance means that you’re shallow and vain. Personally, I think that’s an extreme view, but I have met people like that. It’s frustrating to me because I’ve done the frumpy thing and I’ve seen the difference it made in my life. Worse, it does hurt to be called shallow or vain by someone just for wanting to look nice, and it sad that many bloggers who try to help others by offering advice on clothes and makeup are targets of such insults. While I have this blog and it may be the only way that some people know me, clothes and makeup are not my life, just a small part of it that helps me do what I want in my life.
Today at What Every Woman Needs in Her Wardrobe, Allie has this to say in her post called Fashion is Stupid:
I am often attacked for my belief that style is a necessity for all people. I am told that people don’t have time, don’t have money, and feel that trying so hard to look good makes one appear superficial, materialistic, shallow and not a true reflection of their intelligent/feminist/scientific/minimalist self.
Here’s the down and dirty. You are judged by what you look like. Accept it. Whether people realize it or not, they make assumptions about you by your appearance. This affects how you are treated at work, in a store, by your peers, your neighbors, a waiter, a doctor, a minister.
You may say you don’t care, that if a person gets to know the real you, that appearance is no longer an issue.
False.
She goes on to talk about her personal experiences as well as experiences with some people she has met. If you aren’t convinced (or even if you are), it’s well worth reading.
But what do you think? Does appearance matter? Have you changed you appearance significantly? If so, how did other people react? Do you ever feel discriminated against because of your personal style?
Tags: Fashion, Impressions
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May 27th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Interesting post. I have changed my appearance over the last few years and I have to say I feel much better about myself. I also think of myself as intelligent/feminist/scientific/minimalist but this doesn’t stop me wanting to look stylish. I do have to say there is a difference between looking good and being fashionable. You can definately look great and not pander to any of the current trends at all.
May 28th, 2007 at 12:35 am
And from the looks of it, you pull off the look really well :). It’s really nice to see people who have enough confidence to experiment and have fun with their look instead of just following the magazines.
I certainly agree that one doesn’t have to be “fashionable” to look great. Even if someone does try something really out there and it isn’t flattering, it can still work if they look confident enough and put together to the point where people think that they meant to do that and not just that they slapped on whatever was closest.
There are many of celebrities - Sara Jessica Parker comes to mind - that I look at and go, “Hmmmm…. not for me, but interesting.” I’d much rather have people say that of my style than just think that I don’t care enough to bother.
May 29th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I couldn’t get waited on in Nordstrom when my hair was longer. As soon as I got it cut, instantly I was treated like all the rest of the gray haired ladies with money. He hee. Little did they know I rarely spend any. :)
May 30th, 2007 at 12:35 am
Wow, that’s really interesting. People often don’t think of their haircut as making such a big difference, but yet it did. I cut my hair really short in middle school. It’s funny how the same haircut can be conservative on my mom but punk on me. I keep tempting to do it again, but at the moment I think it does look better longer on me.
November 7th, 2007 at 3:11 am
Hi Meg — I’m twenty - six and this is my first time writing on a blog. I really like yours! I’ve stumbled upon this glorious little online community of people who think like me! I’ve just recently taken a bigger interest in style, and it’s really transformed my life unimaginably. It’s like every day is important, so I dress accordingly. And it really makes each day wonderful! But I feel like it’s this taboo thing to talk about & I can’t share with others how this has profoundly brought me so much joy & that it’s something we shouldn’t be denying ourselves, and feeling so guilty & judgemental about. It’s like it’s wrong to take so much pleasure from something silly. But I think that anything that gives you pleasure is a sacred thing.
Have a wonderul night & thank you for this blog!
Trish
November 7th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Hi Patricia and welcome to the site!
I’m so thrilled for you! I understand, though, about how some people can be. I just really discovered fashion and style this past year and some of my old friends don’t understand how it has really become a hobby for me — or even something deeper than that.
I think it is hard for them to not associate interest in appearances with some of the rather ditzy girls in high school who cared about nothing but fashion and competing with each other by seeing who can have the latest and greatest.
The kind of style I’m interested in isn’t about the clothes ultimately. It’s about how I can best represent the person inside them — something that I can do better now that I know myself better. Fashion isn’t who I am, it’s a tool I use to tell people who I am. It’s a lot harder than just reading the latest fashion magazines and buying everything in there, but it’s a lot more rewarding. It’s also nothing to ever feel guilty about.
I can’t wait to here more from you. I can’t tell you how much it means to hear from the people reading my work, especially when they are as nice as you are : )
November 8th, 2007 at 6:35 am
Thanks Meg — I really appreciate that. I love how you worded that, about style being about how you represent yourself, and not about the clothes ultimately. That’s it exactly! I’d been wondering what the appeal was for me, ruminating about this for a while. Thanks for your insight!
Regards,
Trish