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The comfort of being underdressed
By Meg | January 25, 2008
Whether you’re going to a concert or a job interview, I usually recommend dressing up a bit nicer than everyone else. I’m a firm believer that it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Looking around, though, I seem to be in the minority. A very small minority.
You see, I live in a college town where people go absolutely everywhere in gym clothes and flip flops and some even go to class in pajamas. When one of my friends got married, the best man wore a wife beater. The bridesmaids wore flip flops. No, this wasn’t at the beach.
I had hoped that this wasn’t normal, but from what I’ve seen and read, this is pretty common across the U.S.
Now, I usually wear dresses or skirts, but I didn’t always. I used to wear jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers for everyday activities and only dress up for special occasions. I still don’t think there is anything wrong with wearing a nice pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt around town. However, it finally clicked that skirts and dresses tend to be more comfortable than jeans (though there was another factor involved, as you’ll soon see). So, I dress up to be comfortable. It also doesn’t hurt that I think they look nicer, and that I look nicer in them.
I’ve wondered, though, why so many people insist that they’d rather “be comfortable” than dress up, even if it means wearing clothing that is just inappropriate for the occasion.
I understand the chafing issue when it comes to skirts. I understand that some people don’t want to show their legs. I understand that some people can’t afford to buy nice clothes. I even understand that a lot of dress clothes aren’t comfortable, just like a lot of jeans aren’t comfortable at all. But there are solutions to all of those things and that still leaves a lot of people wearing gym clothes and pajamas who don’t seem to have any excuse.
Then I read a few comments from women who said that they don’t like dressing up because people comment on their clothes.
In each case, the first thoughts that came to mind were something like, “Geez, lady! They’re called compliments! They’re a good thing!” However, I can also understand about being shy and not wanting to be the center of attention. Since I’ve always been the tall girl and I used to have an extraordinarily large chest, I haven’t exactly had the luxury of being invisible. I tried to be, though — with jeans and t-shirts. However, it wasn’t so much the compliments I disliked, but the crude comments I’d get from men, as well as women who didn’t seem to realize that it is possible to have a naturally large chest and not be overweight.
I got a breast reduction for health reasons, but one of the benefits has been a startling reduction of those crude comments, even though I’m still a DD. I felt more comfortable to dress up then and nowadays I do get lots of compliments. At first it was weird, but now I’ve gotten pretty used to them and I appreciate them.
So yes, I understand being shy and not wanting to stick out. However, being underdressed for the occasion is not the way to go! The truth is, people do notice even if they don’t say anything. And most of the time, they won’t say anything for fearing of offending you. Giving compliments to the nicely dressed people is so much easier.
Tags: Dresses, Etiquette, Fashion, Impressions, Modesty, Priorities, School, Shoes, Special Occasions, Style, Work
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January 25th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Miss J has noticed lately that the tide toward slovenly dressing seems to be turning a wee little bit. She hopes so anyway! Can it be that all those style shows like “What Not to Wear” are actually making a difference?
BTW, Meg- Miss J hails from FL originally & visits yearly. It- along with parts of L.A.- may be the flipflop capital of the world.
January 25th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Hi, Miss Janey!
I certainly hope the tide is turning! I do wonder how big an effect those shows have, but I’ve certainly enjoyed them and learned a thing or two along the way.
You mean that maybe it is worse here — and therefore better elsewhere?! I should go on a cross-country road trip and make a documentary about underdressing vs. overdressing.
January 25th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I remember in undergraduate that, being v. close to Tulane (I was at Loyola) that even though our campuses literally shared borders, there were … stereotypes about how the students at each uni dressed.
Kids at Tulane were very collegiate, whereas we had the reputation of dressing daily like we were going out for the night. Now I’ll argue that simply wasn’t true, but it’s the reputation that emerged when girls were stylish and wore skirts to class and boys had a sense of fashion.
January 26th, 2008 at 9:12 am
I agree, dressing up is out of respect to show that this is a special occasion and not an every day thing.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
That’s interesting, Ashe! I noticed a big difference between one university that I auditioned at (private school, very preppy, lots of sweater tops and button-up shirts) and the university that I ended up going to (public school, casual even to the point of pajamas and gym clothes).
Thanks FB! That’s exactly my point!
January 28th, 2008 at 5:51 am
It’s also pretty bad here in Cape Town. No one makes an effort.
Some colleagues wear slip slops to my office so I also sometimes wear my “comfortable” shoes to work. But not trainers! Never. Those are meant for the gym and only the gym.
I try to dress nicely no matter where I go, but even I hate standing out sometimes, so I can understand.
But you’re right: gym clothes are never acceptable outside of gym!
January 29th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I admit, I’ve never heard the phrase “slip slops”, Tarah, but it’s very fitting.
I’m glad you agree that gym clothes are for the gym. I feel VERY overdressed at times when I see what others are wearing, but I’m getting used to it.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:15 am
*Cringes at her error* So sorry, Meg, I meant to say flip flops! But slip slops is a very Capetonian thing to say. Argh. Now I’m not so sure anymore!
LOL
January 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Don’t be ridiculous, Tarah! There’s no need to cringe, and it’s not an error if that’s what y’all say. (I wouldn’t even consider it an error if you made it up on the spot.)
Besides, I was quite sincere when I said it was a fitting phrase, so thank you for enhancing my vocabulary :)
January 31st, 2008 at 5:01 am
LOL
This is probably a post for another day on my own blog, but it’s really strange how we mix our vocabs, for lack of a better word. SA used to have a strong British influence and it showed in our choice of words.
These days, with the internet et cetera, we’re inundated with words from other countries, most notably the US. So we mix words from the UK with words from the US. I’m sure it could become confusing!
So anyway.
Mwah
January 31st, 2008 at 11:37 am
Well, the U.S. is definitely having a strong effect on English internationally — and even on other languages. I work at TheBargainQueens.com as the only American (for now). Everyone else is Australian, so I’m picking up a bit of Australian vocab, which I think is cool.
Anyhow, I have a background in linguistics, so I definitely think studying languages and dialects is interesting. You might look into sociolinguistics (even if just on Wikipedia). It’s a newer field than dialectology, but the sociolinguists have come up with theories that explain much in that and other fields.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:14 am
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