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Styles biases: Why you really can’t please everyone
By Meg | March 27, 2008
I consider myself to be a fairly confident person, but at the same time there are times when I’m ridiculously indecisive. Since starting my own style makeover a little over a year ago, I’ve definitely become more confident in my style. For a time, I wouldn’t take the tags off of just about anything before a couple people had seen something. (Thank goodness I have a great husband and wonderful friends who have been very patient with me!)
The more people I asked, though, the more likely things would get returned. I could usually find someone to dislike any item I had gotten. And in fact, I probably returned more clothes than I kept.
Nowadays, I still like showing my purchases to my husband, as well as to friends that I shop with. However, I’m much more confident in my purchases and I return much fewer things, even when some friends would prefer that I would return some pieces.
Here’s why.
I have come to realize that everyone has their style biases, certain styles or types of items that they just don’t like, no matter how great they may be to others. More than that, I’ve come to learn the style biases of some people close to me.
For example, there’s one friend whose opinion I value highly because she’s always very honest. However, she doesn’t care for rain boots, pink shoes, animal print (except maybe snakeskin, which isn’t my thing), just about any sort of gathering, wide waist-belts, and probably a few other things that I can’t remember.
Actually, a few people I know dislike those wide waist-belts, though most seem to tolerate them on me and I’ve actually heard a couple say, “I hate them on anyone but you.” I definitely take that as a huge compliment. And when they say that something is growing on them since I’ve started wearing it, well that’s music to my ears.
Still, I try to remember who dislikes what so that I don’t take things personally. I know that one friend dislikes ankle straps. For another, it’s patent leather. My husband doesn’t care for blouses with vertical stripes — though he certainly doesn’t stop me from wearing them.
As for me? Ankle boots. I’ve seen them look cute on a few people, but overall, I really don’t care for them. One friend tried to buy me a pair and I told him not to waste his money because I wouldn’t wear them no matter how cute he or our other friend said they were on me. Other things I don’t care for include: snakeskin, pointy-toed shoes, skulls, anything that makes me look like I don’t have a waist, and heavily patterned blouses.
Fortunately, I now know to clearly state my biases whenever someone asks for my opinion. Moreover, I know to ask others for theirs when relevant. As a result, I have no problem wearing pink shoes around my friend who dislikes them, no matter how much she might roll her eyes.
How about you? What styles do you dislike?
Tags: Color, Fashion, Shoes, Style
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March 27th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I dislike wedges, platform shoes, most animal print items, ankle boots.
This is something I’ll remember for next time when I ask someone’s opinion.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I hate animal prints. I don’t care how attractive the wearer is, or what fabric they’re on - I don’t think they look good. They’re great on the animal they grew on, but not on people. I have never seen an animal print I liked.
I also don’t like pointy shoes. I think they look incredibly unattractive and make the wearer look like they’re walking funny.
I rarely like white trousers, and cringe at the sight of light denim.
I am so style-biased!
March 27th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
It’s true. My clothes have rarely made me happy but I’ve pretty much adopted the attitude that if I’m well-groomed and in a society-accepted style (which I always am), then people can deal. ;)
March 27th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I’ve had to deal with a lot of style bias since my daily outfit blog became more popular. Everyone’s tastes are different and you just have to grin and bear the “constructive criticism”
On the plus side, I’ve became MUCH more tolerant of other people’s style. I might have initially dismissed someone’s ensemble as unstylish, juvenile, garish, or boring, but now I try to look at it from their point of view and I usually find some sort of value in the outfit.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
That sounds perfectly reasonable to me, Mrs. Micah!
Fashion has become a hobby of mine, but I don’t expect everyone to be as into it as I am. The only thing I’m really a stickler about is that people put forth a little extra effort to dress with dignity and respect for others, which I think you summed up very nicely when you said “well-groomed and in a society-accepted style”. I’ve seen even the poorest women do that (although some millionaires fail), so I don’t think it’s too much to ask of most people.
Kasmira,
I bet you have! I love your blog and read every post. I think we have very similar styles — maybe more now that I’ve become such a loyal reader. But even if I had the time right now to do a wardrobe blog, I don’t know if I’d have your courage to let everyone pick apart my outfits.
I can definitely understand what you mean about becoming more tolerant. The more confident I become in my own style, the more tolerant I am of other’s style ideas.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Tarah Sweeney and Lady Julianne le Fay,
I know a lot of people that dislike animal print, so you’re definitely not alone. I don’t like a lot of it, but I do have a thing for a little bit of leopard print — like one accessory in it. It drives my friend crazy, though.
Tarah,
I used to hate all wedges. Nowadays, I have a surprising number of them, which I think is hilarious. I got my first pair for college graduation from White House Black Market. They are black and peep-toe (another thing I’m usually really picky about). I think it’s the thinner wedge that made the difference for me, so I wonder sometime how details like that might change how I feel about a certain style. I especially keep wondering what it would take for me to get a pair of ankle boots.
Lady Julianne,
I hear ya on the light denim! That’s another thing I don’t care for, especially if they’re acid wash. Actually, I’m not big of any major distressing. I absolutely hated it when the lightened denim butt look was so popular. My husband kept asking me why women wanted to look like those monkeys with the colored butts. Whiskering on the thighs isn’t much better.
I don’t mind white trousers, but they can be hard to pull off and they had better be clean.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I’m pretty much with you on not liking animal prints, though I have to admit some people can mysteriously pull them off. I’m highly suspicious of rhinestones, particularly on shirts and pants. As a general rule I hate those t-shirts that allow women to proudly proclaim themselves easy, bitchy, irresistible, or out to steal your man. T-shirts with sayings on them in general have been so overdone in recent years that they have to surpass a very high bar of cleverness and originality not to warrant an eye roll. I like wedges, partially because they’re dressier than flats but healthier for your feet than spike heels. Can’t stand Ug boots.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I’m definitely with you on those message t-shirts, Keely!
What I really hate is that guys t-shirts are just as bad if not worse. I can hardly ever find a t-shirt for my husband that doesn’t want to portray him as lazy, violent and/or misogynistic — even at stores as seemingly family friendly as Target! That’s why I was so thankful to snag so many free techie shirts at SXSW.
Rhinestones can be very hard to pull-off without looking like a tween or a glue-gun happy ol’ lady. I found a bag on sale for about $5 that came with some sewn on one side. I snipped them off and ended up with a really great bag. Every now and then I do find something where the rhinestones work, though.
And yeah, you won’t find me wearing Uggs around, either. I’m rather surprised that no one has mentioned Crocs, though. I’ve seen fewer of them around, though, so maybe that’s why.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Turtlenecks! HATE. I don’t know why. I just can’t stand them. Actually I can tolerate them on some people (I never actively like them though) but I absolutely detest them on me. And I don’t like scarves as an accessory tied around the neck. Scarves are for warmth in the winter.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Hi, Miss Squirrel!
I can’t wear turtlenecks, either. I feel claustrophobic in most pull-over style sweaters, but turtlenecks are the worst.
Oddly though, I can wear scarves, and I actually like them. In fact, my favorite way to wear them is the French twist — which looks like it’d drive me crazy. I don’t like the look of hacking knots, though. They look too much like nooses to me.
March 28th, 2008 at 2:42 am
I’m starting to become more tolerant of wedges, though I would never be able to wear them myself.
Although I could be persuaded to wear the thinner style wedges. But it’ll have to be at gun point! ;)
March 28th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Hmm, wow, this got me thinking.
Some I agree with: Ugg boots, light denim (makes people look bigger, why would you want to look bigger), ankle boots.
Some of my personal peeves:
Logos. I don’t know where I read it but I once read something like, if what you’re wearing is fabulousness enough that people will care where you bought it, then it will be recognizable without a visible logo.
Leggings as pants.
Chunky heels, I just don’t find them attractive.
March 28th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
No worries, Tarah! I don’t think it’ll come to that!
Anastasia, I agree with you on the logos and leggings, too!
I’ve become more tolerant of logos as part of a nice or subtle design, but I’m still very much turned off by logos whose primary purpose it so turn what was probably a nice item into a billboard.
And yes, leggings as pants, or “treggings” as I’ve heard them called… well, those are just scary.
I now have a bit more tolerance of chunky heels, though, since they can work for people with larger ankles where slimmer heels don’t. And even I (tall but with probably average ankles) sometimes find myself wearing something chunkier to balance out things.
March 28th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Hmm. It depends how chunky the heel is. I won’t say I have zero pairs, I have a lot of pairs of shoes (probably too many) and I actually have a couple of pairs of very very cute aerosoles that have heels I suppose you could call…”chunky”.
But they have good shape, and they’re more function-oriented (hey, a girl cannot clean a supply closet in four-inch heels, even if she has tried…), so I don’t mind. But yeah, they’re cute.
And also, it helps a lot that you’re tall. I’m short short short so I’m begging for length with my heels. I don’t buy into that What Not to Wear garbage about super pointy toes though. They don’t make you look taller, they make you look like you go shopping with the folks from Keebler. Oh, and they hurt. For length I like a nice almond toe, like this.
March 29th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I could do chunky heels. I guess they “grew” on me. I never used to like it, preferring thinner heels.
Anastasia, I also don’t really like logos. And treggings are just nasty. Oh, and I had a quick look at that blog post. I love the heading!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:38 am
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