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Some people just get on my nerves
By Meg | April 28, 2008
I think of myself as pretty easy-going and likeable. I try to understand people, see the good in everyone, and give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s not always easy, but for me it’s a lot easier than the alternative. Still, there are certain people that really ruffle my feathers. These aren’t people I hate — they haven’t really done anything warranting that. They’re just people I can’t stand.
I’m o.k. with that. I’ve realized that I can’t expect to like everyone any more than I can expect everyone to like me — and vice versa. However, I’ve been trying to figure out what it is that gets on my nerves, precisely because most of these people haven’t done much to me personally. Then it hit me. They just seem full of themselves.
I’m not talking about people who are just confident, successful, or overly outgoing. I’m talking about people who walk around like they own the place and like they’re better than others. People who brag too much, show off too much, and boss others around too much. People who don’t know how little they really know. People who seem to lack any bit of humility.
Of course, I still try to look past first impressions. Who knows how those people feel underneath. Maybe some are just full of themselves — there certainly are people like that.
Unfortunately, I also know how easy it is for people with good intentions to get lumped into that group. It’s easy to be seen as a show-off when you try to give your best, work hard, have varied interests, or pay great attention to details. It’s easy to be seen as shallow and all about appearances, when you just want to look nice and dress appropriately. It’s easy to step on toes while just trying to help. Yes, there have been many times when I’ve felt misunderstood — hence why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and remind others to do the same.
That doesn’t mean that we should all try to be mediocre in every way and hope that nobody notices us. I believe the key is to balance things with a dose of humility. Here’s how:
- Be thankful.
- Go out of your way to show people that you appreciate them.
- Recognize the people and other factors that got you where you are — and that the combination is unique to your situation.
- Give credit where credit is due. Don’t take credit for others’ work.
- Acknowledge your faults. It’s even o.k. to accept a lot of them as your quirks.
- Smile. Listen. Reach out to people. In other words, be friendly.
- Be confident enough to share the spotlight — or give it up completely to honor someone else.
- Don’t jump to conclusions about people and avoid being overly judgemental.
- Treat everyone with dignity regardless of their income, job or social status.
- Don’t expect everyone to share the same priorities, definitions of success, and goals in life as you.
That said, maybe it’s time that I get to know some of those people better and see what they’re really about.
Tags: De-stressing, Etiquette, Impressions, Modesty, Priorities
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May 1st, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I *just* said this to some friends the other day. Lack of humility in others is a total annoyance to me. I’ve also found that those who have little humility also often can’t find the time to have empathy for others either.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Would it be too un-humble of me to say that great minds think alike ; )
I totally agree about empathy. I think empathy and humility support each other. If you’re humble, you may think more of others. If you have empathy, you may be humbled by what others around you do and face.