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Scrooge or generous enough? My thoughts on tipping
By Meg | December 22, 2007
I don’t know who decided it was “news”, but recently CNN has been running bits on holiday tipping with so-called authorities saying that, among other things, we should tip our hair stylists the full price of a hair cut, give the nanny a week’s pay extra, and make sure to give our postal service worker a gift (under $20, though, due to legal restrictions). Even the anchors seemed a bit shocked — and I know they make a lot more than I do. So, I got to wonder, who really does this?
First let me say that I’m not a complete Scrooge. I almost always tip restaurant servers, pizza delivery people, and hair stylists — year round. I know a lot of people don’t believe in giving tips or only believe in giving tips for outstanding service. Part of me agrees with the latter belief. However, until companies pay their employees a decent wage, I think it is wrong not to tip for standard service.
Usually I try to take a judge not attitude, but I’d be at least a little embarrassed just to be in the party with a bad tipper. For goodness sakes, if you’re on a dinner date or at a business lunch, don’t make a bad impression by being cheap with your tip. If you can’t afford to give a proper tip, don’t eat out.
So what do I consider a good tip? It varies a bit, but I consider 15% standard. For really good service, I’ll give about 20%. Even for bad service, I almost always give something. The only time I give nothing is when the person gives poor service with a poor attitude. Fortunately, it has only happened a few times.
But what about holiday tips? Well, I might feel a bit more generous, but I don’t follow the guidelines that have been on the news.
I don’t have kids, but if I did, I don’t think I’d give a week’s pay as a tip plus a gift — unless I was really rolling in it. A nice, small gift, yes. But seeing how I’m spending about $50 tops per person for Christmas, including my husband, it would probably be a $20 gift at most. I would, however, make sure to give at least a small gift to my hypothetical kids’ teachers.
Seeing how most of my hair cuts cost less than $8, I might tip the full price. However, I can’t see paying $100 for a $50 haircut (or worse) if I wanted something more special for the holidays.
I don’t even know my postal service worker’s name, so no, she doesn’t make it onto my short Christmas list.
What do you think about tipping guidelines? Does the holiday season affect how you tip?
Tags: Etiquette, Giving, Impressions
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December 22nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm
While I’m certainly not rolling in it (hello, graduate school!), I can see if I were in a financially stable position doing such. For the nanny, I’d assume they were full-time live in, not just a part-time babysitter. For that, giving them a week’s pay is like giving them a gift or a holiday bonus– because essentially, you are their employer, they the employee, and we all like it when our bosses give us bonuses during the holidays. When I managed retail, I usually got the equivalent of a week’s pay for my bonus.
For the hairdresser, I can see doubling the tip as well. Typically I tip my hairdresser 50%, because she does a really good job, we communicate well, and I’ve never left her with a bad haircut (though I often give her challenging and fun styles!). If I had the money, I’d certainly tip 100%, if not the normal tip and a small gift. But my haircuts are typically $40, and she also owns the business. I think hairdressers are unique, as we develop a different sort of relationship with them (like we would with a nanny) than other sorts of people.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 pm
I think it should be relative to income.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:48 pm
I agree with you both that income can make a difference. It’s certainly not that my husband and I don’t like giving, but we’re not rolling in it either and neither are our friends.
I also think the relationship you have with the person makes a difference, like if you have been seeing the same stylist for a long time or if you see a different one each time.
December 26th, 2007 at 1:11 am
I give our nanny an annual holiday bonus equivalent to two week’s pay. She’s been with us for ten years now, and is amazing with our son who is severely developmentally disabled. We’re not rolling in the dough, but I budget for this every year.
I tip my hair stylist 20% of the total cost of his services each time I visit, so I generally don’t give anything more than a nice box of candy.
Postal carrier is tough. We seem to have a different person every day. We usually hand a box of See’s candy to whomever delivers the mail the Friday before Christmas.
December 26th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
My mom worked with high school students that were severely developmentally disabled. That can definitely be tough work, so I’m sure your nanny appreciates it — especially as it shows your appreciation for her. For any nanny to stick around 10 years is amazing. After all, that’s longer than most relationships last.