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Re: When poor folks have better crap than you
By Meg | February 11, 2008
I was just re-reading When poor folks have better crap than you at Wise Bread. It still makes me laugh because it reminds me of couple years ago when I was interning at a local middle school not exactly in the richest part of town. I admit, I was a bit jealous that the middle school students all seemed to have iPods and I didn’t.
Of course, I don’t know what the financial position of their families were, and goodness knows, I’m not judging them on their financial decisions. However, as the author of that post wrote:
It’s bad enough trying to keep up with the Jones; when you have trouble keeping up with the guy living on the wrong side of the tracks, it’s a source of constant aggravation.
I think this is a really natural emotion, but it’s also a harmful one.
I’ll definitely agree with that!
It also shows, though, that it is hard to judge others’ finances by their stuff — not that we should, but most of us probably do. It’s natural to wonder how someone else can afford things that we can’t when they appear to make about as much money, or even less. There are a few possible answers: they have more money than you think, they spend less on other things, it was given to them, or they bought it on credit because they can’t afford it either.
So we shouldn’t use it as an excuse to get stuff. That “If he has it, I should have it, too” attitude really isn’t constructive.
The post’s author also offers a bit of wisdom:
I think this is one of those situations where a Buddhist attitude provides the best results. When people around you make unwise choices the appropriate emotion to feel is compassion, not ire. When you find yourself wishing for better crap the appropriate emotion to feel is gratitude for the crap you’ve got, not envy for someone else’s.
Well said. But easier said than done.
Tags: Impressions, Spending Money
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February 11th, 2008 at 8:32 am
There are definitely a number of iPods and such in my neighborhood. And definitely cars. A number of nice cars. But on the other hand, I don’t really need an iPod either, since I don’t listen to music much when I’m away from my computer or the car. And the car has a CD player.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:39 am
That’s great that you realize that, Mrs. Micah!
I admit, I hardly ever use my iPod. I thought I’d use it in the gym, but even when I go, I usually just use my ear buds to listen to the news. I keep meaning to put some more music on it and maybe some pod casts, but I keep forgetting to do it.
Heck, I hardly ever listen to the music I have on my computer and I rarely touch a CD, either. I keep thinking that’s odd for someone who’s as into making music as I am, but maybe it makes sense since I spend so much time making music that listening to it passively doesn’t do much for me.
My husband uses his iPod all the time, though.
February 12th, 2008 at 4:56 am
People constantly live above their means. This means that the mother quite reasonably claiming poverty is buying her kid Nike sneakers. The pressure to conform (in the sense of having things, having what might be called “the right things”). All the trappings of wealth-from the organic salad mix to the iPod FEEL good, they make us feel a part of things-but they put people with less into considerable debt. I remember once chattering with my mother about a used book store that had recently opened in a not great area back at home. I asked her if she thought the shop, which was really a fun place, would survive. She didn’t think so, she said, citing that in her experience, people without money often refused to buy used things, spending what little they had or more on reaffirming themselves as adequate members of society. That’s a heavy paraphrase (and MUCH more of a generalization than what she actually said), but it’s an interesting point and one I think about whenever I see someone I KNOW has trouble paying the bills driving around in a new car.
February 12th, 2008 at 4:57 am
That was loaded with typos. Three AM comment-ing disease, I’m afraid. Apologies.
February 12th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Definitely. Easier said than done….
February 12th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Anastasia, I only caught one major one (which I fixed), but if you want me to change anything else, let me know what you want changed, or rewrite it yourself. Then I’ll destroy the evidence ; )