Miss J admits she shops too much and takes pride in dressing well. Hats, bags, shoes- not a lot on make-up. Sh ecolors her own hair, gets inexpensive mani/pedis, but not regularly…. She’s working in cutting back- buying quality over quantity, waiting for sales. Her proudest possession is her HOUSE. In the past year, she and the Mister have improved it by updating room colors and turning an unused room into a closet for Miss J. Miss J spends a LOT of time in the yard, keeping it looking nice.

[…] Re: Signalling wealth […]

That’s is wonderful, M.! If only the entire world worked like yours!

Sadly, people are preoccupied with wealth and use it as an indication of other talents and status, however unfair it may be.

There is also quite a bit of one-up-manship, to be sure.

I wonder why I haven’t come across this type of thing before? Maybe it’s cultural and isn’t something that occurs a lot where I live. It definitely isn’t a part of my social circle and never has been because all of this is like a foreign language to me.

Guess things are different in different social groups. I have always worked in nonprofits and education and editing/journalism. My friends are mainly academics, “blue collar” workers for lack of a better term, artists and the like. We don’t do “status” and wealth signalling.

Around where I live most people are urban hipsters in hoodie sweatshirts and chucks and razored hair, or old hippies with gray hair and clogs (I have them too), and so on. Sure I see some BMWs, mostly driving poorly, and there is PLENTY of wealth here (it’s one of the most exp. parts of the country after all), but overall, if people are wealth signalling around here, then I’m not getting the signal.

And that’s just fine with me. And not to say I don’t like some pricey stuff. I do. I just don’t like it *because* it’s pricey. And it’s certainly got nothing to do with what anyone else thinks or how they view me. In fact, I’d be more likely to think poorly about spending a ton of unneeded money on something than to be impressed by it. I like frugality not excess! And I don’t believe in status. It doesn’t exist if you don’t participate. And I don’t participate.

Thanks for the thought inspiring post.

Hi Meg and everyone,

I find it depends on the particular group values. I go to uni and like to, but also feel compelled to, dress nice, but not TOO nice. It’s important that other students see me as approachable and down to earth. Like, I wear foundation, blush, lipgloss everyday but it’s a natural look (to the point where I’ve had people think I’ve got none on). I have an expensive pair of boots that came in a distressed look, as if they were from the opshop. I also go to an ‘alternative’ mother’s group where women wear (for example) crocs and birkenstocks; when someone there complimented an outfit I had on I felt compelled to let them know which bits were from the Salvation Army. I felt particularly (I’m afraid) smug the other day when they were discussing baby slings and I said I only had ONE sling with my son, and no pram - I suspect that got me kudos. There is such a thing as CULTURAL capital, as well as, or in competition with, financial capital. In this group, at times mothers who drive nice cars etc have been stereotyped or laughed about. I find this just as cliquey/loveless as competition to appear wealthy. There is a (probably unconscious and certainly unintentional) sense of STATUS involved in being ‘in-the-know’, about anti-consumerism, organics, eco stuff, etc. So I continue to walk a fine line of dressed up/not too dressed up, for all the different unspoken social rules I may encounter, I suppose, teetering between displays of various types of ‘wealth’! But I kind of like that, being able to shift fairly seamlessly. And at the end of the day, it’s confidence, and taking things lightly, that gets you through. And sometimes it’s even worth challenging people who may judge you or others, positively or negatively, whatever the basis - of course you’d feel stronger to do this when looking nice!

FB,

Your clothes look “expensive” and you have lots of clothes and accessories but you don’t think you’re showing wealth — or that you even have it? I don’t blame you, I myself didn’t think about it much until recently.

I’ve been thinking more about this, and I don’t think you have to be a millionaire to show wealth. It’s relative. I’m sure that some people would look at our closets and think we were crazy wealthy.

Hi Karen! I love what you said about wearing the diamond ring! I think that’s something a lot of us do, whether we think about it or not. It’s sad, but a lot of salespeople just won’t give you the time of day if they think you can’t afford what they’re trying to sell.

And really, I think that’s a lot of it — just showing that we’re not broke in little ways like that (even when we are). When I think of “wealth”, I don’t necessarily think of being wealthy in the sense of a millionaire. Sometimes it is just about saying “I’m not poor.”

And yet, I don’t believe there is anything wrong with being poor, but there is a difference in mindset I’ve noticed between some people who look poorer than they are because they waste money on cheaply made stuff and don’t take care of it while others will wear their Sunday best day in and day out with such dignity and grace that you’d never guess their real circumstances. (And then of course, there are those of us that buy their perceived wealth on credit card and have to pay for it later.)