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Have you sent out thank you notes yet?

By Meg | December 30, 2007

Sending thank you notes may be a dying custom, but it’s one that’s well worth keeping around. It’s important to show people that you appreciate them and their gifts, and a handwritten note from the heart is a great way to do this. Sure, you can just tell people, “Thanks”, but there’s something special about having a tangible sign. And how great it is to find something in the mail box other than ads and bills!

Is it really too difficult to send a thank you note when someone has obviously spent time and money to give you a gift? Well, that’s what I keep asking myself. I’ve been getting better at it, though, so if you’re wondering how to write a good thank you note, I’ve got some tips.

First, though…

When should you send a thank you note?

At the very least, you should send thank you notes for gifts you receive for occasions like a graduation, wedding, or baby shower. There are several reasons for this: the formality of the occasion, the cost of the gifts, and the limited time you have to spend thanking people one-on-one.

For less formal occasions, an in-person thank you or a phone call might suffice, but a friendly thank you note is never too formal and is always appropriate. If in doubt, send them out.

How long should you wait to send a thank you note? Get thank you notes out as soon as you can. Sure, some old etiquette books might say that brides have a year to send out thank you notes, but you can count on most people expecting a thank you note within a month. For other occasions, try to get them out within a couple weeks. Better late than never, though!

What kind of card should you send?

What you write is a lot more important than what you write on, so I suggest buying some simple notes that you can use for a variety of occasions. Sure, you can buy thank you notes that match your graduation or wedding announcements. However, be careful about buying ones that have graduation hats or wedding bells on them. That way you can use them in the future.

You don’t even have to get cards with “Thank You” written on them. Simple white cards can be incredibly classy, versatile, and cheap.

Photo cards are a nice touch, especially for weddings or graduations where there are likely to be a lot of nice photos taken. However, sticking a photo in with the card works just as well — if not better.

Handwritten or typed? Cursive or print? Pencil or ink?

If you can write cursive legibly, now’s the time to put that skill to use. However, if you can’t write cursive legibly, it’s perfectly acceptable to write in print style.

Only type notes if you absolutely must. Typed thank you notes just don’t feel as personal as something handwritten. My husband claims to have atrocious handwriting, but even he doesn’t type thank you notes — he has me write all of ours.

Both pencil and pen are acceptable, so long as the pencil is dark enough to read and the pen isn’t a wild color likely to make their eyes cross. However, I prefer pen for a more formal look, even though it usually leads to me tossing out a few cards.

How to write a good thank you note

I write everyday, but my worst cases of writer’s block have come while staring at blank thank you cards. I’ve learned that it’s a good idea to have an outline in mind, especially to keep from having to toss out half-written thank you notes.

Even if you are using cards with “Thank you” written in them already, you’ll want to add more than your signature at the bottom. A formula for a very simple thank you note goes like this:

Dear Aunt Kristy,

Thank you so much for the earrings! They look perfect with my favorite purple top!

Love,
Meg

You could also say, “They remind me of…” or “They are exactly my style” or “I’ve been looking for a pair just like them!” The key is to name the gift, then explain why it really is such a great gift.

That formula works great when you have a lot of notes to write. However, it is rather abrupt. So, expand it a bit. Add an intro of something like, “I hope everything is going well for you and Uncle Joe. Things are going very well here. I’ve been busy with… …by the way, thank you so much for…” Then follow up with a closer like, “I’d love to spend some time with you. Are you going to be in the area any time soon?” If you don’t know what to write, let people know that you’ve been thinking of them, tell them what you’ve been up to, and tell them that you look forward to seeing them again soon.

What do you write if you got cash or a gift card?

If you got cash or a gift card, the basic formula still works with some minor changes.

Do acknowledge the gift, but just call it “the gift”. Many people consider it bad taste to say something like, “Thanks for the money”, or worse, to use specific dollar amounts. Calling it “the gift” is a safe bet.

It’s still important to explain why the gift was so great. Generally, you should tell them what you spent the money on — or what you plan to spend it on. You don’t have to be very specific. Saying you spent it on books or music or a fabulous pair of shoes is fine, unless you want to elaborate.

Do be careful, though, that you don’t offend the giver by saying that you bought something that they wouldn’t approve of. Sure, it’s your money to spend however you want, but if you spent it on alcohol and Aunt Christine thinks that alcohol is “the Devil”, it might be a better idea to give her gift the credit for your most recent book purchases.

Preserve your sanity by staying organized

It’s all too easy to forget who gave you what when you get gifts from multiple people — especially if you procrastinate. Don’t trust your memory; make a list. If you don’t want to stop and make a list while opening gifts at your bridal shower, appoint a bridesmaid to do it for you!

Got a lot of cards coming in? As soon as you open the card, write down the gift that you got with it. I write mine on the card itself (in pencil and somewhere not too obvious). Make a stack for those you haven’t responded to with a thank you note.

And don’t forget to keep those envelopes! You’ll want to make sure that you have current addresses for everyone on your list.

Write from the heart

Sure, there are a lot of things to consider, but I’m sharing guidelines, not rules written in stone. You know your family and friends best. Thank you notes don’t have to be perfect; chances are they’ll just be thrilled that you thought to write one. So, when you go to write, just relax and write from the heart.


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