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Celebrating friendship
By Meg | March 3, 2008
I wanted to write this post earlier, but the words just didn’t come. You see, one of the reasons that my friend Katy and I planned some retail therapy yesterday was that a year ago, our best friend Danielle was in a fatal car crash on her way to work. She was living with me and my husband at the time, which made it particularly hard, though I don’t dare assume that our pain was any greater than that of others that knew and loved her (and if you knew her, you couldn’t help but love her).
We’ve been dreading March 1st, knowing that we’d all be in tears. And there certainly were moments when the tears flowed freely. But though the week before was very hard, Saturday was a really great day.
It all started with makeovers for me and Katy.
Now, that may be shocking to some. Why would we go get makeovers when others were having memorial services? Was it making light of the situation? Was it to distract ourselves? As I’ve learned the hard way, some people can get very judgemental when it comes to grieving. My own view is that grieving can happen in a lot of different ways, that it is both a personal and social experience, and that it’s a good time to practice being non-judgemental.
But to understand why we chose water-proof mascara over memorial services, it may be important to know that the weekend before the accident, Danielle and I had makeovers at the same annual event. It was the first time she really got into makeup and she loved it. She was so happy, so excited, and “So loving this girlie thing!” And I can still remember the look in her eyes when she started having fun with the shimmery powders. She was absolutely bubbly.
And now, I watched as my friend sat getting her makeover and it was like a wonderful flashback.
We spent the next few hours spending my Ross store credit on new clothes for me while Katy built a great work wardrobe. We were hilarious. We had so much fun trying on stuff. And since we wear about the same sizes, we were constantly going, “Here, you try this!”
Then we went out to eat with my husband and a couple other friends at an Italian place since Danielle loved Italian. As a bonus, there was live music, which Danielle would have loved, being a fellow music lover.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but I wanted to mention all of this to point out that people grieve differently and they memorialize differently. I don’t think any less of those that went and visited her grave. And I certainly appreciate that those that went to the services were there to support each other as much as they were there to remember her. We, however, felt her presence more among makeup, music, and pasta.
You see, this is how we remember her, on the very day of her makeover:
And that is how she will remain in our hearts, her smile brightening even the saddest day.
Tags: Beauty, Etiquette, Impressions, Makeup, Spending Money
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March 3rd, 2008 at 11:42 am
*sniffles*
A memory doesn’t have to be unhappy.