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A blogger by any other name?
By Meg | February 12, 2008
What if I told you that my name wasn’t Meg? What if I told you that it was a pseudonym and that my real name was Christine? Or how about Juanita? What about Mary? Or Leticia? Would it change your impression of me? What if you didn’t know have a clue I look like?
Names matter. Sort of.
Our names can change how others see us, and maybe even how we see ourselves. Commonly cited are studies that show that here in the U.S. résumés with “black-sounding names prompt fewer job callbacks” even when they are comparable to those with “white-sounding names”. Fortunately, another study indicates that names are not a that sort of difference in names is not predictor of “life outcome” when other variables are taken into account. Still, there are plenty of reasons to choose names wisely.
As for me…
So, are you still wondering what my name really is?
Well, let me assure you that my name really is Meg. While I have used pseudonyms online, I thought long and hard about using my real name because I knew that I wanted to connect with others here and I felt that using my real name would help me do that. On the other hand, I was nervous since you never know who’s reading and what they might do with the least bit of personal information.
So before I made the final decision, I consulted another blogging Meg, the author of Faking Good Breeding, one of my favorite blogs then and now. She gave me a very balanced view of the issue, told me that she hadn’t had problems using her name, and also said that if a blog gets popular it’s likely that the author’s real name will come out eventually. So, I decided to go with Meg.
However, it is a bit more complicated than that.
The whole truth
You see, Meg is my legal name, but it’s not the name on my birth certificate. That name actually is Mary, or Mary Elizabeth if you include my middle name, which was what my parents expected people to call me. It didn’t work that way, though. Most people just called me Mary, despite the protests of me and my parents, who never really liked plain ol’ “Mary” any more than I did — at least not as my name. I have no problem with it as someone else’s name. It just never felt like my name.
It didn’t help that I got teased about my name. Of course, who doesn’t? But there are certain tunes that sound to me like nails on a chalkboard, and a certain movie that I wish I could forget. And don’t get me started on the other variations people came up with when Mary seemed too short. Mary Beth and Mary Liz were bad enough, but often as not, people would stumble through Mary Anne, Mary Rose, Mary Lee and other such names before settling on the somewhat correct name.
Finally, I settled on calling myself Meg during my senior year of high school. My sister gets partial credit for that nickname since she would write my initials, M.E.G., in letters to me and my mom when I was a kid. I didn’t think to use Meg as a nickname, though, until years later. However, it felt very natural (especially after watching a few Meg Ryan movies).
It took a long time for people to catch on, but it’s the only name that my husband has known me by because he met me that year. In fact, because some people still called me Mary, he and a friend didn’t realize they were both talking about me till weeks later when they pointed me out to each other.
When he and I did get married, I decided to change my entire name instead of my just last name so that I didn’t have to tell everyone, “Yes, that’s my name, but please call me Meg” because that didn’t seem to work very well. Needless to say, my family wasn’t thrilled at first, but I kept Mary Elizabeth as my middle name and have given them my blessing to call me whatever they feel comfortable with.
And that’s how I came to be Meg.
Of course, you can’t win them all. I still get people calling me Margaret, Megan, and Maggie. And occasionally, some people even think that I’m Meg from Faking Good Breeding. In all cases, I’ve learned to correct mistakes quickly before they stick, but especially in the last case, I can’t say that I’m at all insulted.
Tags: Etiquette, Impressions, Language & Writing
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February 12th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Well you definitely seem like a Meg. Some people seem less like their blogger names.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Thanks, Mrs. Micah! I feel like a Meg — which still surprises me a bit for some reason.
I completely understand what you said about how some other bloggers have names that don’t seem to fit them. It even happens offline for me. What really gets me, though, is when people fit their name too well — like when I realize that all the Jessicas I know seem to have certain things in common.
February 12th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
FWIW, my mother had a friend known as Cam- Carol Ann Moody (this was 40+years ago and Cam is long married into some other name, so no qualms about mentioning her online!)
February 13th, 2008 at 1:06 am
That’s cool, Katie! I wonder how common that is!
That actually just reminded me of something…
I had a roommate in college who had a friend who also went by her initials. The really weird part for me was that she was also a Mary Elizabeth G. -> Meg.
February 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Just for the record, (and I know you have heard this dozens of times), your Daddy asked me to name you Mary after his sister and Elizabeth was taken from a biblical reading about Elizabeth being told she was with child in her old age (I was 42 as you well know), so you will always be my “Mary Elizabeth”. Thanks for not taking that privilege away. It’s very special to me. Love ya. Mom
February 15th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Hi Mom,
Of course you can always call me Mary Elizabeth! And I do appreciate the significance of the name — which is why I kept it as my middle name.
I’m glad you don’t mind that I go by Meg, though.